“Howdy! Jared speaking!”
“We know what you’ve done,” the man on the other line growled. He had a mysterious yet malicious tone, like the voice from Field of Dreams mixed with Emperor Palpatine.
“What?”
“Don’t try to cover it up. We saw the whole thing.”
“I wasn’t doing anything wrong! I mean…I was just looking at the pictures!”
“Wait, no…”
“Is it because I’m naked?”
“That’s not what I’m talking about…”
“Well what the hell are you talking about? The fact that I enjoy drinking red wine and reading Oscar Wilde?”
“No.”
“Is it because…” The voice cuts Jared off before he can finish.
“We know you killed our delivery boy you sick fuck.”
Jared pauses as a trickle of nervous sweat drips down from his forehead and onto his freshly shaven chest. “You can’t prove that. How would you even know that?”
“Maybe because you were the last guy to see him. Or maybe because I’m homophobic.”
“I’m not gay…probably.”
“Or maybe it’s because you left his dead, penetrated body oozing on your doorstep.”
Jared clutched the phone to his chest and ran over to the front door, swinging it wide open. Sure enough, the body of the delivery boy was still on his front steps, mouth open and completely bled out. With the voice still trying to talk on the phone, Jared couldn’t look away from the pool of blood and soft lips of the open-mouthed man.
Jared slowly raised the phone to his ear, and as if it were attached by string, his penis began to rise as well.
The voice yelled, “Get ready for payback. We’ve kidnapped your lover Stephan and were coming for you.”
With a glance down to what was quickly turning into another deadly murder-boner, Jared kissed the receiver of the phone and whispered, “I dare you.”…
This weeks post was written by a Fetus. A shell of a human being. Someone so small she/he mind as well have been a membrane. Or the mucus that simply surrounds the cell of the membrane. Yet, she/he is this weeks winner. Lets give a rousing round of applause for Fetus.
ANYWAY, this is when you, the reader, takes over. Email dres@themiddlestchild.com with your continuation of the story. The only constraint = make it around 500 words, and make sure it blows minds. We will look at all of the submissions and choose one with which to continue with. A new segment will be posted once a week.
Ready, set, make bathroom “X” with all that Sudafed.
