The Middlest Child

Google is awesome right? Always gets you to where you want to go? It’s video chat is top quality, and its document application actually has Apple and Microsoft rethinking things. It’s even best friends with Wikipedia, and who doesn’t like Wikipedia?

But, boy is it presumptuous.

Not to step on the toes of a good friend of ours funnyman Daniel Tosh, who covered this topic perfectly and has no idea who we are therefore is clearly not a good friend of ours. But now, NOW, it has effected the home of Fair Trade Comedy. Thats right. The Middlest Child. Behold.

God damn. No Google, that is not what we meant. The chimpanzee that performed this search did not mean the middle east child. He wanted to laugh or at least chuckle at tepid observations, not be depressed at the current clusterfuck state of the Middle East. Lets see the first three results after clicking on the presumptuous Google thought process.

1st: 300 Children killed. 1500 injured.

2nd: Discrimination against women and children.

3rd: Praying for peace/More than 300 children killed.

That is not the same as a running blog for the Patrick Swayze  classic, “Roadhouse.” Done by five intoxicated roommates. Bad Google.

Then the thinking kicked in. I looked over my own human thought process and realized this goes way deeper than The Middlest Child or Daniel Tosh could have ever imagined. Google actually thinks. It’s predicting our thoughts.

“Did you Mean…”.

A system of computers is attempting to read our thoughts. Google is getting to big for its britches and The Middlest Child, not the middlest east child , has blown the cover off this motha. Look at what a little Yahoo search for “Google” turned up.

I knew it. Google = Sky Net. No need to worry everybody. Batman and McG are on the case to save the human race.

Thank you to Brian Flynn who brought the initial “the middle east child,” atrocity to light. Brian is actually going to do the first issue of a graphic novel for Dres F.C. and T.M.C. contributor Kyle Dickinson. You can check out his artwork here… http://brianflynn.wordpress.com. Scroll down and check out that sick Spiderman Vs. Green Goblin.